The Federal Empire of United Statesly is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Mike Ethan Thompson with an even hand, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, prohibition of alcohol, and frequent executions. The compassionate, devout population of 2.283 billion Americaniums are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Unity City. The average income tax rate is 75.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Americanmium economy, worth 314 trillion Fidtopias a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 137,718 Fidtopias, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene, unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves, selling your granddad's clothes requires an incredible amount of paperwork, and military officers are given medals for disobeying orders. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Statesly's national animal is the Bald Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Islam.

United Statesly is ranked 30,851^st in the world and 36^th in The Kodiak Republic for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 5,580.95 on the Gilded Widget Scale.